my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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