Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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