And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
