Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
