i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
