Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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