when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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