Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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