Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
