Cold hands, warm shart.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
