At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
