dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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