Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
