Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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