Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i think i just lost a toe
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
