there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
