Will you blow on my dice?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize