i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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