It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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