Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"

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  (914): when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing" http://tfl.nu/damz
  Replies (27) Good night (852) Bad night (3992)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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  (609): i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty http://tfl.nu/sjep
  Replies (6) Good night (2830) Bad night (718)
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  (607): View more from New York

  New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics

  (1-607): View more from New York

  That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?

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  (607): New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics (1-607): That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder (1-607): Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in? http://tfl.nu/6ryu
  Replies (25) Good night (5353) Bad night (712)
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  (925): View more from California

  its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife

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  (925): its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife http://tfl.nu/e55k
  Replies (17) Good night (4083) Bad night (1317)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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  (816): I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are http://tfl.nu/18r6
  Replies (4) Good night (1211) Bad night (1761)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.

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  (713): So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink. http://tfl.nu/45mq
  Replies (4) Good night (1074) Bad night (715)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.

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  (337): By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day. http://tfl.nu/1a9r
  Replies (7) Good night (1068) Bad night (927)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.

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  (423): True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do. http://tfl.nu/f7pn
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (376)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.

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  (865): I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/8bn2
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (425)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"

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  (870): I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough" http://tfl.nu/ficv
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (418)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.

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  (412): Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face. http://tfl.nu/ja8q
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (534)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.

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  (412): i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass. http://tfl.nu/godv
  Replies (7) Good night (1025) Bad night (387)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.

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  (248): I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose. http://tfl.nu/qcky
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (456)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse

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  (330): I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse http://tfl.nu/h2il
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (415)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else

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  (312): I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else http://tfl.nu/bz1h
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (304)

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