You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.