i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
