are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.