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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  no weekend plans? you're practically married

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  just without the last name or joint bank account

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i'd advise against both

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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• (619): View more from California

  We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.

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• (559): View more from California

  Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.

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