when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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