He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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