why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we're chasing vodka with high fives
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
