I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
