please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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