this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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