i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I looked at my own cervix.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
