Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
