Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
