2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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