I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
