I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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