Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
