You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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