I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
