Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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