I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
