So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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