this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
