Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
