Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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