Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
