Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
