ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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