If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
