Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
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Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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