Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
