my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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