if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So much rum. So many feels.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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