my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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