I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
