so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
