my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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