its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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