we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
