Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm jealous of your bromance
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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