yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize