why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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