i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
